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Communicating Compassionately
Thoughts, teachings and tips in relation to compassion.
I’m hosting a series of regular blogs on the language of compassion. Why, you might ask? Well it all has to do with wanting to live life differently, with more love and less fear, and …. being a linguist and language teacher, I know that language matters when it comes to expressing ourselves compassionately in our relationships.
You are what you say.
The blogs below come from the heart. They fall into three categories:
my thoughts, insights and wonderings
teachings, lessons that I have learnt (or learning) that I want to share
tips for those moments when you need to find resources within to manage in the moment.
Interrupting
I’ve been reflecting recently on one of my edges. By edges, I mean behaviours of mine that don’t serve me well, or rather don’t serve me very well anymore. These behaviours appear when something triggers me and I’m consequently washed in feelings which point to an unmet need. The edge that I’ve been reflecting on is my propensity to interrupt.
Needs as nouns…
Have you ever considered how we use nouns to express our needs cleanly? In this blog, I want to demonstrate the role of the abstract noun and how it is used to express our needs, taking full responsibility for them without blaming or judging.
I feel frustrated & impatient but I can’t work out why.
The other day I had a really interesting discussion about needs. It was sparked by a comment that it can be difficult to work out what needs are behind our feelings.
The colour red
Have you ever found it difficult to make a simple decision? This is the moment to explore yourself through self-empathy, being compassionate to yourself.
Launching our revamped online courses
Launching our re-vamped online courses in compassionate communication.
Compassion in the workplace
In class recently I was asked, “How can Nonviolent Communication be used in the workplace to have a positive impact?” This is an enormous topic, and I have a lot to say about it. Read and find out about my two key points for creating compassionate, connected interpersonal relationships in the workplace.
Vulnerability
In my teaching on compassion, I’m been asked about how to stay safe and feel OK when faced with conflict, especially in the workplace and in leadership roles. Instead of suggesting we develop a ‘thick skin’ and be ready for conflict, I suggest that stepping up to vulnerability is a radical and productive alternative.
Empathetic listening, giving the person in pain ‘the floor’
When you offer empathy to someone who is in pain, you give them the gift of being able to safely vent.
Christmas, compassion and family gatherings
4 steps for managing conflict with compassion at Christmas
Recognising and responding to ‘lane’ violations nonviolently.
Have you experienced moments when someone tells you that you should or shouldn’t do something? In these moments, do you feel sort of taken aback, a bit thrown, or perhaps a bit angry? Is it like, “Don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t do? I’ll make up my own mind, thank you very much!”?
The ‘freeze’ survival response
Have you ever found yourself in a situation when an interaction is so unexpected that you are left speechless, powerless and just simply unable to respond?
Hearing the ‘hard to hear’ message with empathy
How would it be to learn to listen and speak differently, from a place of love and empathy, using language expressions that enrich life and make life more wonderful?
Connecting compassionately by saying what you mean, and meaning what you say.
This might seem odd, but have you noticed that what you say can have repercussions? We can say things which connect us to others compassionately, or we can say things which disconnect. Let me give you an example of how what we say can disconnect us from the people we love.
4 steps to compassionately tell your partner to stop telling you where to go (in the car)!
Has something like this, happened to you…..
You’re off to a restaurant with your partner. You are in your car and you are driving. You know where you are going and you know that there are multiple ways to get there. You’ve made a choice on the route that you’ll take, so you’re feeling comfortable and confident.
And then as you are trundling along, you are hearing a directive from your partner telling you to turn right! It is a red flag to a bull. You are triggered and angry. But you say nothing, and do as you are directed. You stewed on this and then say something like I did …,
Compassion ripples…
I imagine that if you are reading this, you are wanting life to be more wonderful. You are perhaps wanting to turn away from expressions which might cause pain in other people, and wanting instead to express yourself in such a way as to enrich and honour yourself and others.
Democracy talking to Trump compassionately
I’m not sure how you might be feeling about Trump’s refusal to concede the 2020 Presidential election, but I’ve been wondering about it and asking myself why Trump isn’t budging in the face of the irrefutable evidence of a Biden win.
