Democracy talking to Trump compassionately
I’m not sure how you might be feeling about Trump’s refusal to concede the 2020 Presidential election, but I’ve been wondering about it and asking myself why Trump isn’t budging in the face of the irrefutable evidence of a Biden win.
I decided to try and dialogue with him as Democracy with an open, compassionate heart to do my best to empathise and tap into his feelings and needs. I know how difficult it is to do this when you have strong negative judgements towards someone. For it to succeed, I (Democracy) need to have an intention to connect with Trump. Only when Trump feels fully heard is there a chance that what is important to Democracy might be heard in return. But sometimes, even when you do your best to empathise, and even when the other person feels fully heard, there is no guarantee that they will hear you. In this situation, it is important to self connect, recognise what it is you need, and then seek it elsewhere. Sometimes the person you want understanding from can’t provide it.
So, I invite you to consider this dialogue between two people - Trump and Democracy. In playing the role of Democracy I am wanting to express myself honestly to President Trump. I want him to understand my concerns for my future. In some places, I have used actual dialogue and quotes from a range of sources, listed below. These are interspersed with my own words.
Democracy: President Trump, I listened on election night to your speech when you said, “Frankly, we did win the election”. I wondered about this at the time but then as the days wore on, I wondered why, in the face of evidence to the contrary, you have not conceded the election.
I’m guessing that winning is important to you, and that you are feeling sad and even maybe angry because you want to win. But I’m wondering what need would be met by winning? Recognition and acknowledgement? Would that be right? I’m sensing that you find the attention of your supporters very reassuring, knowing they support you and want you as their leader. I’m wondering how that feels to hear?
Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash
Trump: Winning is easy. Losing is never easy. Not for me, it’s not.
Democracy: It appears that losing is never easy. Is it like something you never want to happen?
Trump: I think we’ll have victory…. I think we’ll have victory. I look at it as being a very solid chance at winning here. .. I think we have a very solid chance of winning.
Democracy: OK. So you think that you have a very solid chance of winning?
Trump: It’s been a great, uh, it’s been a great run.
Democracy: Yes, I see. So, conceding might mean a kind of failure? If you don’t concede, then you don’t lose?
Trump: Losing is never easy. I don’t lose. Losers are losers. I’m a successful, intelligent businessman.
Democracy: Ok. So that’s why you haven’t conceded. Thanks for your honesty.
Silence
Democracy: … Is there anything else you’d like to tell me, or you’d like me to hear?
Trump: No. Thanks. But I’ll tell you this …. I’m looking forward to my next four years in the White House.
Democracy: Ok, indeed….. I’m wondering if you’d be willing to hear how things have been going for me during this period?
Trump: Go ahead.
Democracy: Thanks. Well, thinking about the fact that there is no concession speech even though the vote count indicates, and the courts have also indicated, Biden has won, I’m feeling anxious and scared, because I’m a fragile institution. I’m vulnerable to misinformation. For example, doubt has been cast on the reliability of postal ballots, victory has been claimed before most of the votes have been counted, allegations of voter fraud have been disseminated, and now opportunities have opened up to select partisan electors to cast the electoral college votes, not to mention the possible intervention of the Supreme Court to adjudicate the result.
I am feeling sick at the thought that the process of selecting the President through the ballot box is at risk. I am worried about my future. I have served America for hundreds of years but now I’m feeling unstable. I’m needing reassurance that the democratic system of government in America has a future. I need stability and trust in my capacity to fairly select the next President.
Trump: Yes, but the process of selection is happening and the courts will decide. You are very, very big in America. The United States has the best democratic system in the world. We will win big.
Silence
Democracy (said internally to self): Oh dear. He isn’t hearing me. He isn’t open to how I am feeling and what I need. I’m wondering if he can give me empathy. But I’m hurting - I am really needing stability and trust. How can I meet my needs for stability and trust if President Trump isn’t able to hear me? Perhaps I should be looking elsewhere. I mean there are other ways to achieve stability and trust. For example, I shouldn’t forget that there are levels of protection of Democracy within the institutions of the United States. Remember, the Constitution doesn’t allow for the military to be called in to quell civilian protests; the Justice Department has a healthy understanding of what Democracy is and why it is worth saving; voting results are the responsibility of the individual States and there is the state level machinery for certifying results; the militias weren’t coordinated enough to emerge as an intimidatory force; and most importantly, Biden’s margin of victory is clear and the evidence of fraud is slight… Remembering this now, I feel a sense of relief that perhaps I’m not in such danger. Maybe this is a wake-up call for America to check that the protections around me are substantial and that maybe I should talk to them about meeting my need for stability and trust. Maybe they could take this opportunity to review and strengthen any weaknesses in the democratic system. I know that if there is a review then I’ll feel better, safer, with a renewed trust in my capacity to elect a President fairly. Ok, so I think I will look to the institutions of the nation rather than to President Trump to help me regain stability and trust. I guess there is always more than one way to have my needs met. I can find other strategies to meet my needs.
___________________
References:
https://www.brainscape.com/blog/2012/04/failure-into-success/
https://www.forbes.com/sites/danielcassady/2020/11/03/winning-is-easy-losing-is-never-easy-trump-not-yet-thinking-about-a-concession-or-acceptance-speech/?sh=4511a69ac6e8
